A Nigerian Manual for the Brave
My brother, pull a chair, get your chilled malt and let us discuss a topic that has humbled many men, both those with six-packs and those with one mighty family pack. If you are a Nigerian man who thinks “satisfying a woman” begins and ends with three minutes of “Oga, I have arrived!”, e be like you are on a long thing.
In fact, satisfying a woman is like preparing proper Nigerian jollof: if you rush it, you will serve nonsense.
First of all, if you believe you can learn everything about women from your favorite Nollywood movies where one kiss makes her start moaning like she’s auditioning for a horror film, let me tell you now: Nollywood lied to you. Women are not small generators you can start by pulling one cord.
They are like NEPA light: unpredictable, complicated, but when it comes on fully, it powers the whole house.
Let’s break it down like groundnut:
1. Foreplay is Not a Suggestion, It’s the Main Course
Some men think foreplay is like washing your hands before eating eba, optional, as long as nobody is looking. Oga, no! Foreplay is the key to unlocking the secret place. Start with the mind, compliment her like you’re trying to win a Grammy for Best Romantic Lyrics. Whisper sweet nonsense into her ears; Nigerian women love correct attention.
Touch her the way you hold your last 1k note before salary enters: gently, carefully, and with respect. Remember, touching her is not the same as kneading fufu. This is not a WWE audition; don’t break her ribs with excitement.
2. Hygiene is Your First Weapon
My guy, if your armpit smells like Eko Oshodi on a hot afternoon, forget everything else. Shower, brush, wash down there. Nobody wants to be intimate with someone who smells like abandoned beans. If you like, be the most romantic man in Lagos, once you smell like expired stockfish, her libido will resign.
3. Communication: Open Your Mouth, but Not Just for “Baby, Are You Coming?”
Ask her what she likes. Nigerian women are raised in a society where many are shy to talk about sex. Make her comfortable. Let her know you won’t run to your guys at the beer parlor to announce that she likes her toes sucked.
During the act, watch her reactions. She’s breathing faster? Good. She’s frowning? Brother, abort mission or adjust course. This is not a time to be proud like a senator; listen and adapt!
4. Time Management – Be Nigerian, But Not in Bed
Nigerians are famous for African time, but don’t apply it by finishing early and calling it a day. This is not a Lagos danfo that must rush from Ojuelegba to Ikeja. Take your time! Women are slow-cookers, not microwaves. If your mission ends in five minutes every time, you might need prayer or a doctor, but first, try focusing less on yourself and more on her.
5. Don’t Be a One-Style Ninja
Just because the “missionary” position worked in 2012 doesn’t mean it’s the only style ordained by God. Explore, but please, don’t break her back or try every move you saw in those suspicious videos on your phone. Variety spices things up, but gentleness keeps it fun.
6. Aftercare – The Forgotten but Important Finale
After you both finish, don’t roll over and start pressing phone or snoring like a generator. Hold her, cuddle, or tell her sweet things. This aftercare can make her remember you even when she’s buying tomatoes at the market. Nigerian women love a man who makes them feel wanted beyond the act.
7. Feed Her Emotional Needs
Satisfying a woman sexually is not just about the main event. It starts during the day: treat her well, help her with things, listen to her. Nigerian women often carry a lot on their minds, family, work, village people. Reduce her stress and you might unlock a level of satisfaction that will make her start testifying about you during morning devotion.
In the end, satisfying a woman is an art that requires patience, attention, and care, not just bedroom gymnastics. Nigerian men, it’s time to upgrade your skills beyond “Are you not satisfied?” and learn the real curriculum.
Remember, it’s not about being a marathon runner or a human jackhammer. It’s about creating an experience where she feels cherished, safe, and pleasured.
Do this, and she’ll start praying that you live long like Methuselah.
Go forth, my brother, and let your bedroom become a land flowing with milk, honey and mutual satisfaction.
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