People don’t always have to say something before you realize they don’t support your choices or decisions.
Their silence, distance, or body language can be subtle signs of disapproval.
However, this doesn’t mean you should abandon your decisions just because people don’t openly agree with you.
Let me use my first marriage as an example.
Back in 2012, my wedding was a grand event.
Everyone seemed excited, and preparations were in full swing.
My parents sponsored everything, and the wedding was flawless.
It was even the first-ever event held at the South Gate Hotel Hall, located near Inter BAU Roundabout (also known as Ekumeku Roundabout) in Asaba, Delta State.
That hotel no longer exists today, but those who were around at the time would remember the event.
Now, here’s the real reason I’m sharing this story.
Before my wedding, I started noticing something strange, many of my closest friends, my “main paddies,” began to distance themselves.
They were not as supportive or enthusiastic as I expected.
At the time, I didn’t fully understand why, and I brushed it off.
Even some of my relatives seemed uneasy, but I overlooked these signs.
It wasn’t until after the wedding that everything became clear.
The issues that should have been obvious to me started piling up, growing into something I could no longer ignore.
To be fair, infidelity was never the problem in my marriage, but ironically, that was the main topic of discussion whenever I trash out issues with her.
To cut the long story short, she left and never returned.
Eight years later, I officially filed for divorce.
Now, if you know me, you’d know that I don’t usually share personal details like this.
But stay with me, I want you to learn something from my experience.
After the divorce, time passed, and some of the friends who had distanced themselves before my wedding slowly started coming back into my life.
Many would ask casually, “How is madam?
How are the kids?”
And when I responded, “She left me,” they would then reveal what they had thought back then, which, as it turned out, was the truth all along.
Naturally, I would ask, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Their response was almost always the same:
“You can’t change the heart of a man in love.
It’s better to let him learn from his own mistakes rather than make yourself his enemy by speaking against his choice.”
And that, my friend, is the lesson.
People don’t always need to openly oppose you for you to realize they don’t support your decisions.
It’s up to you to read between the lines, to observe the energy in the room, the signs on the wall, the expressions on people’s faces, or even the way they slowly drift away after you’ve made your choice.
The universe is always sending signals.
It’s time to start paying attention.
