A Tale of Two Lives
Life is a pot of soup, sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s full of bones, and sometimes, you just stand there holding an empty plate, waiting for vibes.
Papa Ejima, the man who can make a sachet of pure water last three days,
And;
Chief Odogwu Dollars, a man who wears gold chains so thick, his neck has its own gym membership.
Morning Routine
For Papa Ejima, morning starts with the sound of a rooster that isn’t even his, it belongs to the landlord, who constantly threatens to increase the rent if anyone complains about the noise.
The mattress he sleeps on has seen better days (probably during Nigeria’s independence), and the only air-conditioning comes from the occasional breeze that sneaks in through the cracked window.
On the other side of town, Chief Odogwu Dollars is gently woken up by the voice of Alexa, which has been programmed to sing “Money Must Be Made” by Timaya.
His bed, an imported masterpiece, adjusts itself as he stretches, and his silk pajamas cost more than Papa Ejima’s entire annual rent.
He rolls out of bed like a king and lands directly into a waiting Jacuzzi filled with Evian water.
Breakfast.
Papa Ejima’s breakfast is a strategic operation.
He walks to the junction, checks the price of akara, sighs, and then settles for soaking garri with the last drop of sugar left in the container.
If he’s feeling fancy, he might add groundnuts, if not, he drinks it like a true warrior, feeling the sharp pang of hunger like an ASUU strike student waiting for school to resume.
Chief Odogwu Dollars, however, is not concerned with such things.
His breakfast is served on a golden tray by a chef flown in from Paris.
The menu?
Omelette infused with truffle oil, freshly squeezed dragon fruit juice, and a croissant so flaky, it makes village gossipers look like amateurs.
Transportation
Papa Ejima, determined to get to work, starts his daily battle with Lagos Danfo buses.
The conductor is screaming, “Oshodi! Oshodi! Enter with your change o!” Meanwhile, Ejima is calculating whether he should pretend he doesn’t hear the conductor when it’s time to pay or just alight two stops early to avoid embarrassment.
The man sitting next to him smells like he hasn’t seen water since the days of NEPA, but there’s no space to complain.
Meanwhile, Chief Odogwu Dollars enters his bulletproof G-Wagon, where the AC is colder than a Nigerian lecturer’s heart during project defense.
The car glides smoothly over potholes like they don’t exist. When he’s bored, he tells his driver, “Take me anywhere, just make sure it looks expensive.”
Lunch Time.
At lunchtime, Papa Ejima debates whether to buy a roadside jollof rice (risking potential food poisoning) or just chew gum and deceive his stomach until he gets home.
Eventually, he settles for a plate of rice and beans with more stones than actual beans.
He eats cautiously, knowing fully well that one wrong bite could lead to a dental emergency that his wallet is not prepared for.
Chief Odogwu Dollars, on the other hand, is at a five-star restaurant, where he is struggling to pronounce the names of the dishes but doesn’t care because the bill is already covered by his “business partners.”
He dines on grilled salmon with caviar, wondering what poor people even do for fun.
Evening
After a long day, Papa Ejima enters his one-room apartment, removes his shirt, and sighs like someone who just finished fighting for his life.
He turns on his rechargeable lamp (because NEPA has struck again) and checks his phone, only to see an SMS from his bank:
“Dear Customer, your account balance is ₦42.17.”
He hisses and sleeps.
Meanwhile, Chief Odogwu Dollars is at a luxury club, popping champagne and making sure everyone knows he just spent someone’s salary on one bottle.
As he dances, his phone vibrates with an alert: “₦50 million credited to your account.”
He nods approvingly and continues throwing bundles of cash like he’s planting maize for harvest.
Moral of the Story?
Money is the great divider.
While some people are dodging potholes, others are flying over them in private jets.
But at the end of the day, rich or poor, everyone still gets blocked on WhatsApp by their crush.
Life no balance.
What Out for the Sequel…………
